30 Rock | S3E9 | January 22, 2009

Series: 30 Rock
Season: 3
Episode: [9] Retreat to Move Forward
Original Air Date: 01/22/09 (TV); 01/23/09 (Online)


Jack: Lemon, which of these pictures do you like better?



Tracy: So how am I looking, Dr. Spaceman? Dr. Spaceman: Well Tracy, I don’t know how to say this. Di-A-Buh-tees?



Liz: Oh stop sweating, you idiot! What is wrong with you, you STUPID BITCH?!



Kenneth: You need to eat better.
Tracy: N - O - E. No! E!



Liz: Sorry, I dropped it when I was pretending it was my penis. [Robot voice]Ro-bot pe-nis!



Frank: Ok fine, whatever. But you’ll be cool about this?
Jenna: You...the one...who...cool should be!


Liz: First of all, there’s an omelet bar downstairs, so you should probably go get yourself an omelet.


Jack: Like a waitress!


Kenneth: EAT YOUR VEGETABLES! Geegeege~gyuu!


Jack: A lot of people from the conference emailed me to ask if I was there when the bra-lady went crazy.

30 Rock | S3E8 | January 15, 2009

Series: 30 Rock
Season: 3
Episode: [8] Flu Shot
Original Air Date: 01/15/09 (TV); 01/16/09 (Online)


Liz: I even bought a new swimsuit.
Cerie: What is that?
Liz: It’s called a tank-quart, Cerie. You may have seen it in US Weekly. Being worn by Dame Judy Dench – ‘s mother.



Kenneth: Don’t worry, Ms. Lemon. I never get sick. I have the constitution of an ox.



Jack: I’m sorry, what do you call yourself?
Elisa: A Puerto Rican.
Jack: No, I know you can say that, but what do I call you?
Elisa: A Puerto Rican.
Jack: Wow. That does not sound right.



Jack: You know, she’s second generation Puerto Rican.
Liz: Jack, you can’t call her that!



Dr. Spaceman: When is modern science gonna find a cure for a woman’s mouth?



Kenneth: It would be an honor to die at my post and be given the traditional burial of a Parcell man; wrapped in a Confederate flag, fried, and fed to dogs.



Liz: Hey, Cerie. What is this text that you sent me supposed to mean?
Cerie: Your vacation is back on.
Liz: How is this any easier th—
Cerie: I’m so happy the number 4, the letter U.



Dr. Spaceman: If you want a shot, you’re going to have to dance for it. … Very nice.



Tracy: I tried on a lot of outfits.
Jenna: And some of them, I was like “No” but then some of them, I was like “YEAH!”



Elisa: I cannot lose this job. I’d have to go back to working the late shift and Dunkin’ Donuts.
[Flashback]
Elisa: Can I help you?
“Customer”: Yes, what time do you start throwing out doughnuts?

30 Rock | S3E7 | January 8, 2009

Series: 30 Rock
Season: 3
Episode: [7] Senor Macho Solo
Original Air Date: 01/08/09 (TV); 01/09/09 (Online)


Liz: Hey Max, is this your little sister? Oh, what a cute little girl…or boy, if you grow up and feel that that’s what’s inside you.



Jack: Tracy, your friends and I are worried about you. We think your spending has gone out of control.
Tracy: … Give me an example.



Liz: I like your tie.
Stewart: And I like aggressive women with a nerdy vibe. How bout we grab some coffee and explore this?



Angie: I’ll sign your stupid contract…never gonna leave this man anyway.
Tracy: You’re not?!
Angie: Baby, I’m gonna be with you til the very end. I’m going to watch you die, Tracy Jordan.



Kenneth: So Stewart, what is it like living under a bridge?



Jack: How did you and Lemon meet?
Stewart: Liz here just saw me on the street and went for it.
Jack: Lemon did that?
Liz: Yeah…you know me. Spend my lunch hour walking up and down 6th avenue, looking for a hot meal.
Jack: Okay! Classic Lemon man-eater.
Liz: …Cat sound…heh.



“Here’s Maroney on a windy day.”



Liz: I have a thing about intimacy. I’m the weird one, I’m weirder than you!
Stewart: …How am I weird?
Liz: You’re not! That came out wrong!