Series: 30 Rock Season: 3 Episode: [6] Christmas Special Original Air Date: 12/11/08 (TV); 12/12/08 (Online)
Kenneth: I love helping people less fortunate than me. Toofer: Where do you find them?
Liz: Listen to this- 'Dear Santa, my name is Chanel Jenkins. I would like some new shoes so I can walk to school. My dream is to be a doctor someday-' Tracy: [crying] That kid's never going to be a doctor.
Liz: Where are you? I hear sunshine.
Jack: I hit her. I hit her with my car... She’s fine. She’s better than fine. They’re giving her a titanium hip. Like the Terminator. It’s only going to make her more powerful.
Liz: Hey Toofer! Can I buy a kid "Fubu?" Is that a swear word?
Liz: I know, but I have a new family, the Glovers! And I am going to get them all these raping Santas. ... Well I kind of assumed they’d rap, which is kind of racist on my part. But still, best Christmas ever! You’re welcome Glovers!
Tracy: What’s the past tense for "scam?" Is it "scrumped?" Liz Lemon, I think you just got scrumped!
Kenneth: I don’t believe people would do that, Ms. Lemon. This is a religious holiday. When has religion caused any trouble? Liz: Kenneth, you’re naive. Kenneth: And you’re acting like a real C-word right now. That’s right - a cranky sue!
Tracy: Liz Lemon, I know you’re going to be all alone on Christmas Day. So if you like, you can spend it with the Jordans. Liz: I’d love too Tracy. Tracy: Good, we’ll be over at 2. My kids have a peanut allergy, but my dogs only eat steak.
Jack and Colleen: [singing] Merry Christmas...to yooooooou.
The Story Behind Tina Fey's Scar Revealed: Liz Lemon favors her right side. That’s because a faint scar runs across Tina Fey’s left cheek, the result of a violent cutting attack by a stranger when Fey was five. Her husband says, “It was in, like, the front yard of her house, and somebody who just came up, and she just thought somebody marked her with a pen.” You can hardly see the scar in person. But I agree with Richmond that it makes Fey more lovely, like a hint of Marlene Dietrich noir glamour in a Preston Sturges heroine.
“That scar was fascinating to me,” Richmond recalls. “This is somebody who, no matter what it was, has gone through something. And I think it really informs the way she thinks about her life. When you have that kind of thing happen to you, that makes you scared of certain things, that makes you frightened of different things, your comedy comes out in a different kind of way, and it also makes you feel for people.”
Series: 30 Rock Season: 3 Episode: [3] The One with the Cast from Night Court Original Air Date: 11/13/08 (TV); 11/14/08 (Online)
Liz: Hey! Did you see our shout-out in Variety? They called us a comedy show!
Liz: She's like a human Macarena - something everybody did at parties back in 1996.
Claire: Oh hey, Liz...Jack was just giving me directions to the F train.
Claire: Are we still on for tonight? Because it is going to be epic. Liz: I...can't...I volunteer at this thing with kids...and old people. Cliare: ...Bring 'em. See ya!
Liz: Did she do "Sexy birthday" or "Mannequin Who Come's to Life?" Jack: "Sexy Birthday," thank God...
Kenneth: ...Finally giving America what it wants: a reunion of Friends...from Night Court.
Liz: So let's go dancing in high heels! Claire: Where should we go? Cerie: You guys should go to Aquarium. It's this new nightclub and all the women are in a glass room in the center of the dance floor, and all the guys just watch and feed them.
Liz: Jack, she's in your house! Jack: What? Don't be ridiculous! The alarm is---
Sparky Monroe: I can prove my client is innocent! If only it weren't a full mooooooon...
Claire: Oh please stop. Don't make that muppet face at him.
Claire: We all want what's best for Jack. So why don't we just get this three-way on! Liz: No! Jack: No! Right? I mean, it's a bad idea?
Season: 3 Episode: [2] Believe in the Stars Original Air Date: 11/06/08 (TV); 11/07/08 (Online)
Liz: “Comanaprasil? ‘May cause dizziness, sexual nightmares, and sleep crime.’ ”
Jenna: “How can you defame someone who’s been arrested at three different Chuckee Cheese’s?”
Tracy: “White people stole jazz, rock ‘n’ roll, Will Smith, AND heart disease. Now they think they can take my hard-earned money.”
Kenneth: “Tyler Brody was not the only hero I lost today, sir.” Kenneth: “The other hero was you, in case that was not –“ Jack: “I got it, Kenneth.”
Tracy: “You can’t fix this, Liz Lemon. It’s about race. It’s about being a woman. It’s about money. It’s about being on TV. And no one understands all that!” Liz: “I’ma call you back. I’m snitting next to Borpo.”
Tracy (as a white girl): “Hi, strangers. Do you think I’m sexy? Giggle giggle giggle.”
Liz: “Yeah, it’s bad, I get it. Go get some baby wipes!”
Liz: “She’s coming, Jack. Oprah – is coming! She’s going to fix everything. Oprah!”
Kenneth: “Is Spongebob Squarepants supposed to be terrifying?” Jack: “You're darn right he is, Kenneth.”
